Chris Herrington decided years ago that his reality was much more fun…
and he’s ready to tell you why.
Sit back and relax.
It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Experts R US
You just can’t please some people. You can point out their faults, show them how illogical their arguments are coming from your limited point of view about what they need, compare them to superstars who are one in 5 million and who were hitting the big time at 17, and then brag about your own exploits and how you’ve become a self-made man, and they still don’t get it! What is it going to take to get people to come to the realization that you are right and they are wrong? I mean, what is the dealio? Everyone knows that when you are a legend in your own mind you are an expert on everything that everyone else needs to be doing but are too blind to see the way to do correctly let alone their not seeing the need to do it and that’s why they need an expert to guide them all the time! Experts, as we all know, are people who hold the thought, “Why don’t people think just like me?”
I have this theory about that. We are fallible! I know! Isn’t that crazy? Who knew? I mean, if you have a public education then you’ve spend 13 years X 180 days x 7 hours = 16,380 hours studying God the universe and other related subjects. You know what you are talking about! If you have gone to college, then you have spent 46 courses X 16 weeks X 3 hours = 2,208 hours of advanced training! You’ve read countless blogs, incredible piles of e-mails from compilers, layers of news resources, tweeted and faceflogged yourself into oblivion, seen all of the top YouTube videos, and all of it was completely unbiased and well-documented by SNOPES to be accurate, double-checked, and user friendly beyond reproach, so that when you make a comment on anything, you know that you are a baseline resource, Experts Unlimited, Experts R Us.
After all 16,380 +2,208 = 18,588 hours, and that divided by 24 = 774.5 days, and that divided by 365 = 2.12 years. If you are 25 and you have spent 2.12 years in class, if you got 100% of it all, you have spent about 8% of your life getting the message! Extrapolate this, and this is just about what we get from most experts. They repeat the gossip, the pundits, their obnoxious friends and almost anyone they meet except for you, and on this bedrock of understanding they pontificate. This is the way it has been for a 1000 years, so the earth must be the center of the universe! I don’t believe in this, but the other thing that is just like it, only sideways, is nothing like it, and so I CAN rationalize that. When I did it, it was good, but when you do it, it is bad. If the contradictions got any hairier, we would need a razor blade and an Italian barber to get through this!
Okay, let’s lay some track down here. The only reason we run into these experts is to get us psychically ready to abandon our own pomposity, right? They are only doing to us what we do to others all the time in our false modesty; we tell others how the cow ate the cabbage, only we do it with such humility that others are glad to shake our hands and thank us for our wisdom, when in reality all we really did was say what we ourselves need to hear in our present circumstances but will not allow any other expert to tell us what to do, even if it is ourselves telling us what we need to hear in the guise of our telling others what the skinny is. Phew! “Is that air you’re breathing?”
Okay, so we are still human and we make mistakes and we are fearful to take our own advice even though we hand it out to others like candy. Really? I know! I do it too! What would my life look like if I took all of that sage advice that I give to others all the time? Body like Charles Atlas. House like the taj mahal. Car like a 1932 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. Infinite access to everything I’ve ever come into contact with, sounding like George Carlin’s Modern Man. Jeepers! Oh the things I would think! See, I’m even an expert on experts. Maybe I’m the Dexter of advice.
runningturtle87
Having completed 32 years of public school service, Chris Herrington lives, with his wife, in Appleby, Texas, and his writing consists of blogging and essay writing concerning an array of topics including education, mediation, self-development, and human interests. He teaches at the Martin School of Choice, plays racquetball, and enjoys his job.
Chris Herrington can be reached at herrington@everythingnac.com
