Chris Herrington, Contributing Writer
Here is a poem about the concern I have about our reactive society.
Ahead of the Game
The trick is to be able
to see it as it arises,
that sense of needing
to take offense,
to defend the ridiculous,
to rationalize a reaction
based on the need
for an imagined fairness,
to become enraged
in self-righteousness,
to become overly invested in
the game of appearances,
that moment when instead of acting
in response from our souls
we promote our egos, pretend
and feign moral superiority,
and we choose to react
by performance,
melodramatically dragging ourselves
back through our insecurities
of blame and shame and self-protection
from real intimacy
and seeing life for what it is.
Most of life is a horse and pony show
proving nothing but rather showing us up
for the cowards we are.
Anyone can confront a situation,
but very few have the courage
to wait long enough to understand it.
Expectations are the delusions
of those who hope for things
to be other than how they are.
runningturtle87
I have written this poem myself.
Through the years I have sought to diminish my panic attacks through various means: biofeedback, positive thinking, meditation, nutritional therapy, positive psychology, regressive therapy, biblical studies, interpersonal counseling, reflexology, replacement therapy, and a host of other things, and all of them have helped to some degree. There may be no total end of this search…I may continue to have them until the day I die.
One hallmark of the delivery mechanism that lands me in a panic attack is this idea that my wanting things to be other than they are is always present. There may still be some underlying fixation, but that is always there.
One thing that I notice is that there is often someone who will say, “Just don’t have them…that will cure it.” Just willing yourself to not have a panic attack is an interesting idea. Many people who go in for a heart attack are there for panic attacks or acid reflux. Mind over matter. I hear that. Just say no. This sounds reasonable, more so now, at 59. I have talked with over 1000 people easily about their panic attacks, and most of them said, “I thought I was going to die.”
We are not completely passive though in relationship to these attacks. There are many things we do to bring them on: too little sleep, not enough nutrition, too much agitation, too much stimulation, or too much coffee. Genetically, we are all so different that one person’s medicine and aid is another person’s vice or poison. Some medicines can just about guarantee me a panic attack and I have friends who take the same medicines frequently, and too with wonderful results. It’s a gamble as to what will happen with gluten, bee stings, ant bites, allergies, pollen, mold, smoke, or perfume to individuals.
At the health club, men who are getting dressed to go out will dash on body lotions and after shave items that can totally send me over the edge. Now, do I confront them and ask them to please not use these products? Or do I not go workout because of my allergies? This is a critical problem of diplomacy. You can’t say, “You make me sick.” But, what we mean to say is that, “The choice that you are making is putting me at risk, and I am asking you to refrain from using that product.” Some people would just say, “I have the right to use whatever I want, and if you have a problem with it, then that is up to you to deal with it.” Hmmmmm.
I wonder if health clubs will eventually ask patrons to refrain from using colognes or fragrances or sprays of any kind. Soaps can do it. If they had peanut butter soap some people would go into shock. I eat peanut butter sometimes several times a day and I like it. At home.
Being aware of others’ health risks and potential health problems, alerting others and letting them know, is a very dicey and icy problem. If you let others know, they may shun you altogether. If you don’t let them know, then they may accidentally poison you. How many accommodations can we be held responsible for? How much can we avail ourselves of others’ needs?
It is for sure that the person who has the need needs to be on the lookout. The person who has no ill effects might be more helpful. Laughing at someone going into anaphylactic shock will not look good on a resume, especially if you are rolling on the floor while that person dies right in front of you.
I just think that the more we talk about these things and become more aware, the better off we all are. For sure, if you see me having a panic attack, think of drowning and being boiled in oil at the same time, and that will keep it in perspective.
runningturtle87
Mrs. Linda Kay Mings, age 64, of Nacogdoches, Texas, passed away Tuesday, Jan. 22, 2013, at Nacogdoches Medical Center.
Mrs. Mings was born May 31, 1948, in Raymondville, Texas, to parents Homer Haskell Lee and Lula Alice (Walker) Lee. Linda had lived in the East Texas area for several years and worked as a nursing assistant at nursing homes. She was a member of Harvest Point Church.
Stephen F. Austin State University will welcome a member of the Kennedy family to campus for a weeklong visit in February.
