Everything Nac

     If we were to make a list of the major things we need to do today, this week, this month, or this year, we would see a list expanding so fast that it would make our heads swim. 24 hours, 168 hours, 744 hours, 8,760 hours, respectively. In a lifetime we may spend as much as 5 years sitting at a light in the car, waiting in the doctor’s office, or waiting for things to download. Some people actually spend as much as 10 years total; that’s 87,600 hours of doing nothing but waiting for something to happen. OMG!

     My list is a mile long, and I am going to wait for 10 years in life somewhere wasting this very valuable time? The thing is that this is no joke. When we are young, the amount of time that we are experiencing is very large in comparison to the amount of time we have lived, so summer seems like a lifetime to a five year-old. A summer to an 87 year-old is a blip on the map of life. Let’s compare them mathematically. 3/60 months = 5% of a 5 year-old’s life! 3/1,044 = .28 % of an 87 year-old’s life. 5% /.28% = 1785%. The same time for a child is much longer than it is by comparison for an adult.

     An interesting afterthought here is that the same is true when we think of chores or items on our lists. The to-do list of the wedding is different than the house maintenance chore list. One is for a very important, emotionally necessary project that needs immediate attention, and the other is for long term, way less emotionally demanding work. Just like time seems to expand or contract depending on the age of the person applying it, the emotional pressure can compress or decompress the time and energy involved even for a single person. “Time flies when you are having a good time,” they say. Time does seem to drag on when we are working at something that is uncomfortable or not user friendly. The more boring the work, the longer it seems to take to finish it.

     It’s no wonder then that people will do just about anything to avoid doing unpleasant things on their list of things to do. We want to work on our bucket list, but we do not want to work on our honey-do list. We want to go shopping for clothes or accessories we “need,” but we do not want to do the work it takes to be able to afford to go on that vacation or spree.

     Let’s get really scary for a minute; everyone seems to like slasher films with zombies and monsters, and werewolves, and vampires, so let’s explore some other things that can suck the life out of us: our liabilities and duties, our maintenances and our chores. It is spring, and we are getting ready for bikini season, right? We are doing spring cleaning, getting in shape, dusting off the yard gear, and getting ready for the ubiquitous family vacation. If you are starting to get chill bumps and your palms are sweating, you have a case of the I-put-it-off’s.

     You gained 12 pounds during Christmas, you added that to the 6 you gained at Thanksgiving, and then you sat down for basketball season and your heart rate is up so you need to increase your metabolism. All in all, climbing into a bikini and walking down the beach sounds like climbing the Matterhorn, naked. Men have been known to suck in their guts so hard that their lower GI exchanged places with their lungs only to find that a fly landing on their stomach is totally crushed by the returning fat as it ripples back to its original location once a girl in a bikini has passed them by. Almost no one is ready for bikini season if a healthy routine has not been kept over winter. Bodyrock.tv, anyone?

     Health is only one of the biggies. IF during the year we got out of control on our spending, the summer months may suffer from I-had-to-give-my-kids-a-good-Christmas-itis. The “stay-cation” is actually a word we can look up on Google now. It has a Wiki-site! It is now fashionable to not drive, not fly, not go and do. With gas’ being so high, it is better to hit the neighborhood. Camp in the back yard. Oh, now, what does that yard look like? Disneyland? I think not. Time to gear up!

     The car: Has it been winterized, summer-ized, battery checked, road tested, muffler checked, liquids, filters, pumps, hoses, belts, and repairs made? Oil changed, timing chain, radiator, mileage checked, tires filled, and leaks repaired? Knocks, pings, rattles, and fluttering stopped? CD’s loaded, DVD’s, XM extended, insurance, license plates checks, and tags for state registration re-upped, re-anteed, and re-assured with a double check to make sure that you don’t get an expensive on-the-road ticket?

     Sun screen? Bathing suit? Oh, my God, just those two things can cause a major medical condition. If you have not seen the alternatives for these two items, then you have been under a rock which was squashed by a concrete slab. My blood pressure just went up thinking about it. I would just as soon go hunting for wildebeest with my slingshot. Between the millions of combinations of SPF’s and additional skin conditioners and all the cuts and fit combinations launched by entire countries and beach communities, this is something that is better left to the professionals. Warning: Do not let your children outfit you. Clean that castle!

     If you own a house, the list is mighty long. Check the gutters. Mowers ready? I buy a new one every 4 years; the cost of upkeep is overwhelming and then there is the lugging it over to the place and waiting for it to get repaired. Weeding! Trimming trees, planting, gardening, and a million chores in the area of getting things ready to BBQ. And that’s just the yard!

     Change the A/C filter lately? Pay the bills? Unclog those drains? Check the sewer system lately? How about the closets and all that spring cleaning? Cleaned out the refrigerator lately, this year? Let’s do some computer work and blow out the moss that is growing in the blower. Taken off all of the plug-ins from the kitchen counter top this year? Vacuumed the coils on the freezer? Checked for leaks under the sinks? Do you have termite damage, water damage, or sunlight damage? How is that bathroom wearing? Need a new mailbox? Did I mention the dusting; how about those ceiling fans? Have you put up the coats from winter? Isn’t it time to fix those drawers and clean out the pantry? A can of beans from 2004? Move the furniture? Repaint? Clean the windows? Put away the tools? Spray for bugs? Deep clean the floors?

     Have you started to save for retirement yet? Kids in college? Insurance? Taxes? How many ways can a dollar bill stretch? Clothes? Shoes? Anniversary? Birthdays? Graduations? Christmas? Easter? 4th of July fireworks? Weddings? End of school parties? Shots for the pets? Dog food? Gasoline for that emergency trip? Loan that will never be repaid? Replacement parts for everything under the sun?

     What about that special date? What about your kids’ dates? Surprise visitors get thirsty and hungry. Flat tires? Leaks? Batteries!!!!!! Liner bags? Snacks! How do people make it from pay check to pay check? It is completely insane to think about the problems we face from day to day, and almost all of them cost us something! How much is a trip to Wal-Mart? Hot dogs, buns, and mustard? Why does movie popcorn cost an arm and a leg?

     Okay, now that you are totally blown away and depressed, go watch a free YouTube video. Oh, you need a new computer? Do you get the Internet on your cell phone? Dishnetwork? Ipad? Laptop? Can I stream that to you or do you need to download it all on…..

runningturtle87

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     Having completed 32 years of public school service, Chris Herrington lives, with his wife, in Appleby, Texas, and his writing consists of blogging and essay writing concerning an array of topics including education, mediation, self-development, and human interests. He teaches at the Martin School of Choice, plays racquetball, and enjoys his job.

     Chris Herrington can be reached at herrington@everythingnac.com