Chris Herrington, Contributing Writer
Okay, let’s just throw the whole thing in the mix; we need a diversion from the political huffing and puffing, so let’s work on the domestic policy of relationships. Okay, Ladies, I’ll ask the question this way: “How would you feel if your man, husband, boyfriend, told you that you needed to wax your lip, shave your legs, get a new handbag, fix your hair, try a different pair of shoes, get a better shirt, or get better friends?” What if he asked questions like: “You’re not going to wear that dress, are you? Is THAT the color lipstick you think looks good with THAT blouse? Are your shoes really going with that outfit? Don’t you think that this donut is just going to end up on those hips? Don’t your feet have enough stress already? You need to start working out; I remember when that dress looked good on you. When was the last time you stopped to think before you talked?” At some point, way long ago probably, you would have started asking yourself a few questions: “What did I ever see in this clown? Why did I ever trust him not to use that against me? How could I have been so blind as to have faith in this guy?” And, my all-time-favorite, “And I had 2 kids with this man? What was I thinking the second time?” Humph!
Okay then. That is what it feels like when women do the exact same thing to men. Women will think, “Well, I don’t want him going out looking like that!” He had a thread on his shirt, and so that others did not see it, you waited until there were 30 men hanging around and pulled that threat off right in front of them? I will tell you what that does to your status; you now are seen as his mother. “Man, did you hear, Bobby married his mom! Yeah, she was wiping soup off of his mouth with her thumb after she licked it!” And the ever classic, the girl has to straighten his tie, push his hair back over his forehead, and then pick lint off of his jacket. Nice. He is now in third grade.
Men have their foolish moments, it’s true. They get up, they have those moments, and then they go to bed. Okay. They won’t ask for directions: LOST! Yes, and they think that every opportunity to crack a joke is a great moment to defend themselves by humiliating someone else, usually their girl in front of their friends. And they have a tough time with saying how they feel, owning up to what they promised, and being on time as if they really cared. I get that. I am not going to say “but” here; there’s no excuse for not being aware. And that is why I am imploring women to follow their own advice. If you do not want to be told what to do, then stop doing it to men. Here is an easy way to check for this in yourself, male and female.
Carry a pad around with you for one day; you’ll need something to write with, Silly. Now, every time you make a request, write it down. Every time you pay a compliment, write that down. And every time you make a remark that is dark, sarcastic, a joke, funny, a dig, a comment to correct, a slider, a bombshell, a slam, or any remark at all to someone else about their performance or presentation or expression, write all that stuff down.
First off, this will make you think about what you say and do all day. You may find, as I did, that you have a quick wit that is ever so slightly dark and charmingly sarcastic…Okay, I was being a jerk. Then you might find out that you make upwards of 200 such remarks in a day. Hmmmmm. You think that you are funny. Come to find out that you are cruel and miserable to be around. Maybe the negativity in the world is yours. Maybe the reason you are so pessimistic is your own self-talk. What if you found out that your kids are afraid to talk to you because you are hyper-critical? You think it is helping, but they can hardly wait until you are dead? They may be teens, but death is rather radical, don’t you think? Oh, no, all kids wish their parents were dead. It’s hormones. Yeah, yours!!!!!
But then, let’s check those relationships. We start out with the wedding vows. A few thousand “Yes, Dear’s” down the road and it is off to divorce court because his secretary listened to his problems? Hmmmmm. We have gotten into a rut in America. We forgot to work together as a family. Men are supposedly the spiritual head of the American household, but then they often have more invested in a bass boat and a big screen TV than they do in their children’s college fund. They go to church, but it is more to show that they are leaders in their homes than to actually lead. If you do not know the reading level of your child, if you have not read something that your child has written, if you have not checked to make sure your kids can measure the square footage in the room where they sleep, if you have not asked and gotten a satisfactory answer to why they believe as they do, why we have the government we have, and what the names of the states are that your family members have died to protect, then I question your assumption that you are the leader of your house.
If you have forgotten your wedding vows, I challenge you to drag those suckers out and take a good look at what they said. “I promise to be sarcastic, melodramatic, difficult, evasive, and avoid discussing how I feel about things that are driving me up the wall because I do not want to hear you complain about what I have done that is just as bad.” Were those your wedding vows?
“I love my kids, but when I get home all I want is quiet and I don’t want to hear a bunch of stuff about what they did or who they met or what hurt their feelings or why they made a bad grade or that they finally got up and gave a speech; I’m too tired for that. That’s what their drug pushers, gangs, stoner friends, sexting, sneak out buddies, and creeps on the Internet are for.”
We all have our excuses. And the media has provided the biggest one of all: Get the one that you deserve. We all deserve a better car, a better house, a better mate, better parents, better kids…we are too good for the life we are living. Oh, Brother! Wake up and smell the coffee that someone else made for you! Question everything!
runningturtle87
