Everything Nac

Chris Herrington, Contributing Writer

     If you ever want to get totally sideways with someone, talk about politics or religion, and if you really want to have a war on your hands, do a money deal with your family, oh, yeah! Some people seem to live for stress. They will confide in me that they do their best work under pressure. That’s why they are talking to me, an inner-personal mediator. So, saying that you handle your stuff to me is like telling your dentist all about how well you floss your teeth while you are in for a filling. Here are some of the things I have noticed in my travels through the human mind.

     I often have the experience that people want to be able to fix the world from the comfort of their sofas. They are the arm chair or sofa bound psychologists who have seen it all and done nothing about it. These legends in their own minds have it all worked out, and they get all worked up about how the world is this and people need to that, and these folks are often the same ones who are the offenders in cases of road rage. They may scream at the TV. They may have a pile of things that need to be done, and they will get to it, as soon as they fix the universe, and we all know how screwed up that is with entropy and all, right?

     There are many different types of challenging stress-o-holics that I have run across and their variations, like the strong and silent type. They can get worked up over a fish on a hook, a ball in the air, a tire on the road, a bucket of paint, or a dripping faucet, but they have nothing to say about how they feel, what they think, or how they are going to change their lives so that they themselves can begin to take responsibility for what they themselves can do to fix the problems they are so very acutely aware of. No, they stand there firmly resolute so that no one will ever bother them for any answers; if they were asked, they would have not a clue and would shrug their shoulders. All they know is that things need to go a certain way and that is how it is. They think that other people are idiots for not knowing how to drop a transmission and save $600, but they themselves would not have a clue as to how to put that very practical knowledge to use to change the fuel economy of every vehicle on the planet and save us all trillions of dollars.

     I know that it is cliché, but sometimes women are the stressors, especially moms, stepmoms, mothers-in-law, and, yes, even wives and girlfriends, and ex-wives and daughters and all the other hats. It is not because they are women; it’s because they have to deal with men! Oh, sure throw men under the bus! Women are perfect! Okay, if you want to play that card, go ahead. I am going to take the high road. She does not understand that I need a deer rifle, a target pistol, a bass boat, a deer lease, a fishing license, a bigfoot truck, a garage full of tools, and all the gear that goes with it and every season of every sport every year for 75 years. She wants me to send the kids to college, and we just don’t have the money!

     I mean, men start out with that “the man is the head of the house hold” mentality, but they end up with a king of the castle approach where there are only 3 other people in the kingdom. If the man is supposed to be the head even as Jesus is the head of the church, then the example is to sacrifice yourself on a garbage heap to give the universe to your family. I guess the thing that women get the shortest end of the stick on is house work. Whoever said it was woman’s work was a man. I do not want my girl on her hands and knees scrubbing the floors or anything else. Now, I know some women who can hang sheet rock, work a lathe, hammer, chisel, deck, and sand, and paint, but most don’t. Now, granted the one I am thinking of has 8 pack abs and can make a bikini look like a commercial, but the point is, she is able to do anything and everything a man can do, and she makes it look good. Many men can’t say that. But, she does it because she likes it, not because it was her assigned duty. I think that women ought to be able to assign all the chores every other year to balance it out. A man would think a whole lot more about lifting that seat if he had to scrub that bathroom floor. Now, I did not even get into religious doctrine, but just the little bit I did touch on is going to start a firestorm of discussions!

     But, the clincher is what happens with the money of an inheritance. You can go bad on a loan, and you can forget to make payments, but nothing wraps a family up like the leftovers that they did not have to work for. One really big curiosity is that people will become scavengers and predators over family leftovers. They will work tirelessly raising the value of a flip-house they have not bothered to visit or paint or dust for 20 years, and never think once about how helpful that would have been while that relative was ALIVE!

     I think that from my perspective it is totally normal for people to act like lunatics sometimes, but some people make a career out of it. And then on top of that, they will get on a chat board and hook up with others and then talk about it some more or they will start some mess and make some drama or stir the pot, because you can never have too much stress. Do you know what I mean? Isn’t that right? Can you feel me? And she thinks she looks good in that dress!

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