Everything Nac

Earlier in the week, during a conversation with a friend, I hit upon a topic that we had a hard time shaking, like double back tape, just stickier than before. We have all made that promise that we will not forget, we’ll do it right away, or do it first thing in the morning. Most of us are familiar with the proviso, “God willing and the creek don’t rise.” We also know that a solemn pinky swear coupled with the “God and creek proviso is nearly as prophetic as washing your car, the clear foreshadowing of a coming rain.

I was just going to take a spin around the lake on my bike, and $10,000 worth of medical care later, thanks, Dr. McLean, and thank you, Dr. Gartsman, I am in a sling/shoulder harness for 4 months to rehab my torn rotator cuff. We, indeed, were right back.

I promised I would not move a muscle, following medication, Velcro, a stern lecture, and my being so incapacitated that I cannot carry a coffee cup. Yes, I did try. No, I couldn’t do it. Point made.

I am not taking it easy, even though I promised that I would. When I got out of the shower I caught a chill. I was trying to answer the questions being asked but the words that came out made me sound like I was speaking in tongues. I was freezing to death but I was laughing hysterically about how funny I sounded.

I had eventually gone to bed, which was only partially true since I was sleeping in a Barco lounger, and in the middle of the night my feet neared my body to gather warmth and the entire chair flipped over backwards, and I awoke with my head on the floor and my feet in the air. I wondered if I had died and gone to heaven since it was still freezing. I managed to kick myself free after 30 choruses of, “Help me.” I was wondering if I really had gone to a better place, given that I was upside down.

It occurred to me that I had been talking about subjects, and if the subject had been God or love or peace, I would have long lost sight of them. With all if the crazy stuff we go through every day, do any of us manage to keep even the first commandment? If so, how do we explain all these other thoughts?

Just my aches and pains take up the majority of my thoughts. And what of our condemnations of others? Are those our thoughts about God? Pain medication is maybe a sort of psychotherapy. I had a psychotic break and spent the day trying to remember what it was that was the subject of all subjects. My mentor/guide through that gate asked me to tell her things I could no longer explain but were right there on the tip of my tongue.

It’s the thing you never forget about…..isn’t that the real definition of God?

runningturtle87