Chris Herrington decided years ago that his reality was much more fun…
and he’s ready to tell you why.
Sit back and relax.
It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I know that when I work on things that they can be stressful if they are things that are about me. I do not, however, feel almost any stress over working on other people’s problems when those problems are not my problems. Everyone has problems, so the major question to ask myself is, “How do I keep from making other people’s problems my problems so that they then become my stress?”
I have waited a long time to begin to think in these terms; it seems that most of my life has been spent trying to placate others such that their problems become mine to resolve, and yet I am not so ready to accept this fate any more. I feel that other people can resolve their own difficulties, and even when they call on me for assistance, it is not necessary for me to say that I will help unless I have in fact taken the time to carve out a space in time to be available to help them ahead of time. I am all for being there for others, but it is not my right nor is it my responsibility to do things for them. Let me break this down a little.
If I do something for someone that they themselves could have done for themselves, I think that I am not really helping them but rather inhibiting their own ability to respond. I know plenty of people who are sort of emotionally challenged, socially retarded I guess you could say, because they only know how to throw a tantrum to rope people into doing things for them. They throw a fit, hold people emotionally hostage and then get them to do things for them. They stay perpetually embarrassed for the sake of manipulating others into doing things for them that they might be fully capable of doing if they had done what needed to be done.
In some ways, this is how we have created the welfare state. People have become so dependent on the state to provide for them that they have plum clean forgotten what it means to stand up on their own two feet. The anger involved in having to give up this pathway is like giving up anything else we are addicted to. We can see in the world markets that many countries have been saddled with national debt that is based on social programs, medical programs, benefits programs, and public debt. If we take into consideration the business cycles of extending the projections of growth and then the boom and bust cycle of derivative thinking, projections of change and our being usually overly optimistic (the universal salesman’s pitch), we find that it was only a matter of time before the entire structure toppled and fell. The average person has been operating on the assumption that everything would go on and on as it has been, a delusion at best. The people on the top, who had been there before, got out in the nick of time, made millions and billions, hit the bounce with the capital they made and made even more off of the insecurity of others. Slick!
We know that most people, the baseline majority, do not do what they need to do to become secure but rather they live lives of jealousy paved with projections of easy delivery and a sweet deal. This is what forms the root of the anger that most people feel when the bottom falls out. It fell out. People were angry. People around the planet are angry. Why? As simplistic as it sounds, things did not turn out as planned, even though those plans were only pipedreams of things the hedge fund managers told our bankers who relayed the messages to us in unhealthy statements of marsh mellow money. When we get started, it is a honeymoon, and when we get finished, it’s a divorce. Why? Well, it is the cycle of things. Maybe this is the way the world goes.
If we followed most cycles, whether in art, history, economics, or relationships, there is the problem of expectations’ always being followed by either satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Satisfaction only lasts as long as expectations are met, and then dissatisfaction sets in. It seems that no matter how long someone is satisfied, once expectations are not met, dissatisfaction takes a hold and can then take over.
The expectation has been, if we are to be truly honest, that the people who were on public assistance would sooner or later, but in any case eventually, stand on their own and take charge of their lives. We have tried several concepts from food stamps and HUD housing, to college programs like PELL or primary starter programs like Head Start. When we take a look at the efficacy of these programs, we have got to admit that, just like the GI Bill got us boot strapped after WWII, we have had some wonderful success stories to share. The issue is that the rate of success for some of these programs is questionable. We have the same sorts of questions concerning the tax breaks that have been before the nation recently. How many people are being helped and how effective are these solutions? It may well be that millions could be put to work with the uncollected tax money. It may also be that no matter how much we try to help people, they simply do not want to do any better in the terms we are expecting them to aspire to. We want more or different for them than they want for themselves.
Expectations can be a monster. We have tried testing and polling, and handing out, and giving away, and programs, and events, and camp meetings, and town hall meetings, and still we have a country that is divided as to what the efficacy is of these programs. Some would like to stop them all and let people simply fend for themselves. I have no doubt that this is the wave of the future. Public schools cost way too much, so let the families take home a computer to teach their own children the enlightened ways they see fit. Before it is all over, families will be offered a computer, the Internet, a $2,000 voucher to be used as a down payment on further schooling, and a good luck pat on the back. Public welfare is just too expensive, and social welfare is a burden better left to those who want to spend their wealth on it. Those who have means did not get it by giving it away; those who have little did not focus on getting what they needed to be ready for the 21st Century. This is the new wave of thinking. As much as the collective might want it to stay otherwise, the tide is turning.
Further, we might want to go lend a hand to help out Egypt, Tunisia, or Libya, but frankly we are stretched so thin right now that we would be putting ourselves at economic and political risk to do so. We have spent our money up front and have not kept any for an acid rain day. While North Africa and the Middle East pass through their various new paradigms, America will have little power to now affect them since we are embroiled in our own problems. Those who are on public welfare or assistance need to see these programs for what they were meant to be: A help to get you back on your feet, one that has cost us all dearly. For those who have been in the game for several generations, my heart goes out to you. This will not be an easy transition. This will not be easy for any of us. In reality, the population is under educated and the unemployment problem is a statement of employer need. If computers can do what you do, then you are not necessary. If someone else in another country can do something cheaper than you can do it, then what you do is obsolete. If you have been scraping by on public assistance for your whole life, it is time to wake up.
At the same time, if you have been gaming the system and have been working the loop holes to make yourself money and bring yourself power, then get ready. Transparency is coming to your side of town too, and it won’t look pretty. No one is going to get a free ride in this economy. The kids are watching. I wonder if Skilling had to do it all over again if he wouldn’t rather be out fishing with his boy. I don’t have any kids, but, still, it is an interesting question, even if it doesn’t really stress me, yet.
runningturtle87
Having completed 32 years of public school service, Chris Herrington lives, with his wife, in Appleby, Texas, and his writing consists of blogging and essay writing concerning an array of topics including education, mediation, self-development, and human interests. He teaches at the Martin School of Choice, plays racquetball, and enjoys his job.
Chris Herrington can be reached at herrington@everythingnac.com
